And as the Internet was reminded this week, it’s particularly dicey for straight women turning down straight men.On Monday, Buzzfeed writer Grace Spelman publicized Harry Potter fanboy and (more disconcertingly) Feminspire co-founder Benjamin Schoan’s online flirtation-turned-aggression toward her.By maintaining these communities, we maintain the health of the larger organization.In order to do this, we strive to be accepted by our fellows. Through acceptance, we understand what we have to offer, and feel that we belong. What does rejection do to the human brain that so desperately needs to fit in?Regardless of the communication tactic, ultimately saying “no” can lead to a backlash of breakup proportions despite a relationship that never even existed.
Men mysteriously disappear, and dating rejection can be jarring and feel really crummy. At the end of the date, Bruce asked Julie for a second date. She said he was a total gentleman and that they both had a lot of fun.Unfortunately, at the end of the date, instead of asking her out again or even saying he would call her, Bruce suggested "sometime" because "it would be fun to talk."Julie was surprised by this proposition and didn't know what to make of it.After four days, Bruce still hadn't called her, and she asked me what I thought. How could a date go so well, and then, the guy just doesn't call? " With me as her dating coach, Julie is savvy enough to know that the last thing she should do is start pursuing him.According to a psychological study, rejection causes the brain’s pain receptors to respond as though the body had been physically injured.
To quote the study: “As far as your brain is concerned, a broken heart is not so different from a broken arm.” Not only does the brain register the ache of rejection as real pain, but this also triggers a “cascade of emotional and cognitive consequences,” including depression, jealousy, and anger.
Since the dawn of time we’ve gathered together into tribes, cities, and nations in order to survive the dangers of the wild.