However, “if you state your opinion firmly, often back down.”The key is to express yourself without attacking the other person.
When we’re truly assertive, “we focus only on ourselves without making the other person wrong,” Farris said. This is different from starting sentences with “you,” which can put people on the defensive. She shared these examples of statements you can say: 3. Farris suggested applying this saying in 12-step programs to your situation: “You didn’t cause it, you can’t control and you can’t cure it.” That is, what the other person is saying or doing isn’t about you.
How to Kill Fear When Dealing with Aggressive People By Peter Murphy The book, Feel the Fear . And I really think it is important to learn how to transform fear into courage by learning how to use more of your mind and how to take charge of your emotions.
There are two ways to take fear and transform it into a different emotional state: Release the fear by letting go of it.
“[T]hey may not see that their behavior creates emotional distancing in their relationships — unless someone speaks up.”So how do you speak up? According to Farris, let the person “talk — but not dominate — the conversation, and validate what you hear.” For instance, you might say: “I can see how you feel that way,” or “What I hear you saying is …” If they feel heard, they might relax a bit, she said.
Below, Farris, owner of Counseling Recovery in San Jose, Calif., shared five helpful ways. (Because all of us, no matter our differences, just want to feel heard.) 2. If you’re dealing with someone with a strong personality, they might keep pushing if you’re backing down, Farris said.
Because we all feel insecure at time, we often sympathize with someone who expresses his insecurity, especially if he seems weak, passive, or frightened.
Be yourself, work on your self-confidence and stop underestimating yourself.Bushong from Of course, if the person is a psychopath or something like that then this won't always apply but considering why the person is so aggressive can help you to understand the situation you're in and possibly give you some ideas on solutions.The following is a guest article by Peter Murphy with his 4 tips on how to deal with aggressive people. and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers is regarded as a self help classic. I read it many years ago and I was disappointed by the content of this book that has helped a lot of people take control of their fears. Because I believe we all have the power to go far beyond feeling the fear.When you realize this, it makes it easier to be assertive.4.
There are numerous psychological tricks for dealing with intimidating people and I’m going to outline the most important ones below.
One secret to gaining confidence with aggressive people is to understand that often the aggression comes from that person feeling insecure.